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Review: "Drag Me To Hell" gross, campy fun *** stars out of 4

June 18th 2009 03:53

I got the feeling that prior to making Drag Me To Hell, Director Sam Raimi was feeling a little bit of big budget superhero flick fatigue. After all, he is the man who guided the Spider-Man films to critical and commercial success...but even after all of the fame that those movies provide...I can imagine being a little tired of directing movies where your star shoots webs from his wrists.

Which of course leads us back to Drag Me To Hell. This is vintage Raimi. It gives new fans a treat to see the Sam Raimi who created Evil Dead, Army of Darkness, and Darkman. The film is a campy fun treat where the lead is a tiny twenty something loan officer who gets every type of goo thrown on her face, from worm vomit, to drool, to blood, to dead body goo. Some of these scenes are intentionally hilarious...and despite the chuckles it inspires...Drag Me To Hell is still a chilling and serviceable horror flick.

Alison Lohman is attacked by a creepy old lady (Lorna Raver) in "Drag Me To Hell"

Alison Lohman was a last minute replacement for Ellen Page as Christine Brown, a meek loan officer with a loving professor boyfriend (Justin Long), gunning for a promotion when she is approached by a gypsy lady with a crazy eye who needs an extension on her mortgage. When Christine says no (in all honesty, when a gypsy lady with a crazy eye asks for an extension...just give her the extension), the old lady puts a curse on her where she will be haunted by spirits and eventually dragged down to hell (hence the title).

Eventually, poor Christine is attacked by shadowy spirits, the old lady (who attacks her from beyond the grave), and every type of bodily fluid conceivable. Alison Lohman is not a great actress...but to her credit she is a hell of a sport. Most actresses would simply be too vain to do a movie like this, but Lohman is up for the challenge...and the audience gets to enjoy the disgusting ride.

Lohman doesn't really act in the movie, (though she does give new meaning to the phrase 'here kitty') I would guess that Raimi gave her three directions (look scared, scream, scrunch your face)...but it all works. Drag Me To Hell isn't about nuance or acting...it is about frothy horror movie fun.

Does Drag Me To Hell go too far with the gross-outs and the ludicrous plot...absolutely. When the spirit attacking Christine assumes the form of a goat...its hard to keep taking things seriously.

Despite its flaws, I left Drag Me To Hell with a thought that I rarely have, that despite the movie's flaws, I was glad that Drag Me To Hell got made. In a multiplex where horror movies are simply remakes or rehashed stories, it was cool to see a movie that was a complete throwback to the fun horror flicks of the 70's and 80's. It seems fitting that the old horror pro Sam Raimi brought back that feeling...and Drag Me To Hell accomplishes that with the one aspect that most horror movies forget...in order to be good, it has to be scary...and fun.

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Review: Travolta, Washington shine in fun "Pelham 123" *** stars out of 4

June 14th 2009 20:54

Everyone can sympathize with John Travolta right now. He hasn't done much publicity for The Taking of Pelham 123, in which he plays a badass ex-con with a fu manchu and a neck tattoo who hijacks a subway train...and in turn a city. He is still mourning the loss of his son Jett and he hasn't made any public appearances since his death. Which is what makes this review of Pelham 123 such a joy to write. Travolta knocks it out of the park as Ryder, a former wall street slave who does time for embezzlement and takes his revenge on the city by taking over a train and its hostages.

John Travolta having a ball as the villainous Ryder in "The Taking of Pelham 123"

The film, which is a remake of the 1974 original, was directed by one of the most criminally underrated directors on the planet, Tony Scott (True Romance, Top Gun, Man on Fire), so already I was intrigued...however nothing can prepare you for the terrific cat and mouse game between two seasoned vets Denzel Washington and John Travolta. Washington is consistently stellar no matter what he does...and he is sharp as the bland subway dispatcher Walter Hobbs (a nice nod to the star of the original film Walter Matthau). Hobbs had been recently demoted due to an investigation of bribery, and his mundane world is shocked when he is thrust into the unexpected role of hostage negotiator when the tattooed psychopath Ryder takes over a train, kills the conductor and threatens to kill passengers if he doesn't receive $10 million dollars in an hour.

So begins the real pressure packed ride of Pelham 123. Scott does deliver the overcaffinated camera work that sometimes make his movies a chore and tosses words on the screen to make sure we understand every situation...condescending? yes...but I can learn to overlook that.

The film plays out over 106 tense minutes...until Hobbs goes down into the tunnel and you see the unbelievable way that Ryder plans to escape. The film doesn't always ring true as a morality tale and sometimes the way that contemporary relevance is entered doesn't always work...but the film is put together in such a competent and exciting way that those things don't really matter.

All of the supporting players are top notch...John Turturro is solid as a conflicted hostage negotiator who can never quite handle the whole situation. Luis Guzman displays rare subtlety as a scorned former MTA employee enacting his revenge. The gold medal for supporting players goes to James Gandolfini as the Mayor of NY. Gandolfini does a great job echoing Rudy Guliani in the ways he still plays to constituency but acknowledges his own infidelities and faults.

However, it is hard to take your eyes off of the center ring. Travolta gives his best performance in years as a man who has been pushed to the absolute brink of life. He claims that he "fed NY breakfast every day," and is reduced to criminal madness as a result of their lack of gratitude. He feels a kindred spirit in Hobbs, their discussions about his indiscretions as well as Hobbs bribery investigation, have a calm rapport that is almost touching. It is great to see Travolta this thoroughly invested in a role again...and I hope it can continue.

Washington uses his hangdog expression to perfection in the same way that Matthau did in the original. Some have complained that he is too dull for the film...but Washington hits the perfect pitches of this broken man who is given a new lease on life with the help of a psychopath on the other end of a radio.

The Taking of Pelham 123 is a great piece of summer entertainment. It doesn't always fly, but despite its bumps in the road...it eventually succeeds due to the strength of its director and stars. Especially Travolta...who seemed to be in hibernation for many years...welcome back John, hope to see more of you like this.

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Review: "Terminator Salvation" too cold and serious to be fun *1/2 stars out of 4

June 14th 2009 19:56

When Terminator Salvation neared its release date, it seemed that no one wanted to talk about the film itself...the primary topic of conversation was the hilarious angry tirade by Christian Bale on the Director of Photography. In all retrospect...that was probably for the best. Terminator Salvation is an action film as cold and heartless as the machines it features.

Christian Bale as John Connor, shooting up a machine in "Terminator Salvation"

Christian Bale in his first post Dark Knight role is John Connor, the leader of the human resistance against the Skynet machine program who has since destroyed the planet and left it in a post apocalyptic state in the year 2018. Connor has a pregnant wife Kate (Bryce Dallas Howard, reprising Claire Danes' T3 role) and goes underground to lead the human charge against machines.

He must find his father Kyle Reese (played by Anton Yelchin...who has traveled back in time...yep another time travel plot). Reese meanwhile has hooked up with Marcus Wright (Sam Worthington), a former death row inmate in the present who is now a machine with human emotion. After Reese is captured, Wright hooks up with Blair Williams (hottie Moon Bloodgood) and is taken back to the resistance headquarters where he learns his true fate.

By the time the film reaches its climax at Skynet Central...the story has become uninteresting, bland, laughable, and boring. The biggest problems with Terminator Salvation is that everything about the film is cold and dark...including the actors who are all given one note to play and don't even play it that well.

Bale seems to be doing his Batman voice throughout the entire film...which is not a good thing. He doesn't really act in the film...he mostly screams, grunts, and snarls. It is a shame because we all know how talented Bale is and to see it wasted like this is disheartening.

Bryce Dallas Howard seems to only be given one direction...look concerned.

Sam Worthington does what he can, but the role of Marcus Wright is very strangely written, first he makes out with a cancer patient, then he runs naked screaming, then he does a badass action swagger, and then finally screams some more. I think Worthington is talented and it does show here...but I hope he can show it in a better role in the future.

Anton Yelchin still looks like he is 12, so he doesn't fit in the brutal and cold world that Director McG has created. Lastly, Moon Bloodgood, who is also pretty talented has been given only one direction as well...look hot...which she does very well.

Overall, Terminator Salvation lacks any semblance of a heartbeat...which seems to be the point of the film. Maybe this is a film that just shouldn't have been made at this time...but it has...and its not good.

Everyone looks lost in the film, and the worst of all are the little winks to the audience that Director McG gives, which seemingly don't fit. For example Kyle Reese tells Marcus Wright when they meet "come with me if you want to live." Also when Kate Connor asks John Connor what she should tell the other soldiers...John replies "I'll be back."

When it reaches Skynet...we are treated to a CGI Schwarzenegger...yes, you read that right...a CGI Schwarzenegger. This film is so sterile and metal that when it gives these little glimpses of light, they just seem inappropriate and insulting.

Terminator Salvation is really a mess...but at least Christian Bale can look forward to one thing...only two more years til another Batman sequel.

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Review: Too man characters, subplots make

June 14th 2009 19:12

For all it ludicrous aspects (Mickey Rooney, i'm looking at you), the original Night of the Museum was actually a good time. So when I heard that a sequel was in the works...I was intrigued. The first one wasn't memorable...but still enjoyable, so I expected the same from the sequel Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. The problem with this effort is that it is the same as the original...and then more...which is not always a good thing.

The Smithsonian Museum in Washington D.C. is the largest museum in the country...and so it features a lot of artifacts and statues of a great number of famous historical figures...and Director Shawn Levy leaves no figure or artifact unmentioned...and as a result, Night at the Museum is overstuffed and exhausting to watch. Despite the best efforts of the actors, the film is as long and drawn out as an actual trip to the museum

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Review: "Star Trek" takes us on a good...not great ride *** stars out of 4

June 13th 2009 22:54

I wasn't sure what to make of the relaunch of Star Trek. I've never been a fan of the series...or for that matter J.J. Abrams (face it people, Lost isn't brilliant and Abrams isn't a genius). So I went into the much anticipated reboot of the Gene Roddenberry creation with a clean slate...a virgin's eye to the stories and characters. Most of the film is a lot of fun...and a lot of it features the frustrating plot devices that J.J. Abrams has used for years to fool people into thinking that he's a storytelling revolutionary. Still, in a multiplex that is full of crapola...Star Trek stands as an entertaining...yet still very flawed relaunch.

We first meet James T. Kirk as a baby when his father launches him from his crashing ship after an attack from Romulans...more specifically Nero, played by Eric Bana (having a ball as the baddie.) Flash forward and Kirk (Chris Pine) has grown up to be a motorcycle riding, devil may care rebel...until he's approached by Capt. Pike (Bruce Greenwood) to man up and join the star fleet academy. Of course, Kirk goes...becomes a hot shot who plays by his own rules, beds a green space babe (who did look hot despite the forest skin color), and eventually butts heads with the other star pupil at the academy...Spock, a half human/half Vulcan genius played with subtle nuance by Zachary Quinto

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WWE Extreme Rules: A Geeks Predictions

June 7th 2009 21:01

"Judgment Day" has come and gone...but the storylines continue. Enter "Extreme Rules," the one event where the WWE takes all of the existing storylines from "Judgment Day" and puts all of the competitors in matches where there is an added gimmick or stipulation. The good news is that "Judgment Day" was not a disappointing event, which should make "Extreme Rules" a more than fun event.

Well...on to the predictions

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Silly "Wolverine" is still a crazy cool time *** stars out of 4

June 2nd 2009 04:33

The summer movie season kicked itself into high gear with the release of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, a prequel to the popular X-Men film franchise and the chance to showcase the most popular character and the franchise's biggest star...Hugh Jackman. Since its release, the blogosphere has erupted in general dissent and pathetic whining about the film. "They ruined Gambit!!!," "The film is all action and no story," "Hugh Jackman SUCKS!!!"

All I say to the people who are whining for stupid reasons about why they don't like Wolverine is this: Get a girlfriend and Get a life

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Review: Actors lift intriguing "Soloist" *** stars out of 4

June 2nd 2009 03:55

When the trailers for The Soloist debuted in the summer of 2008, it appeared that the film was a prototypical piece of Oscar bait. Two brilliant actors playing characters who are soul scarred and mentally ill, both go on a journey of redemption while being connected with music and eventual joy.

Yes, The Soloist is a piece of Oscar bait, and the Academy would no doubt have eaten it up had it stayed at its original release date of November 2008. However, the film got pushed back several times until it got a release this past April with little to no fanfare. It is actually a shame that it turned out that way, because as it turns out The Soloist is a solid film that avoids convention and features one good performance...and one great one

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WWE Judgment Day: A Geeks Predictions

May 17th 2009 19:33

Well, it is time to begin the WWE's annual summer pay per view stretch of gimmick events and matches with every storyline culminating in August with Summerslam. That road will begin with the regular mixed bag that is Judgment Day. This event can prove to be fun and enjoyable...and also very unmemorable. It is usually an event for the token stars (see Batista) to shine while giving some other wrestlers the opportunity to get on a big show.

Now on to the predictions

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WWE Backlash 2009: A Geek's Predictions

April 26th 2009 21:06

Well, it is time for that annual Wrestlemania hangover event otherwise known as Backlash. Typically, Backlash just serves to be a bookend for the feuds, titles, and storylines that peaked at Wrestlemania, and this year's show will be no exception. However, Backlash is typically one of the most fun events of the year because it is the equivalent of wrestling repertoire spring cleaning. Wrestlers get to try moves and spots that they weren't able to at the high prestige Wrestlemania. So I will be watching with great interest from that perspective.

Now on to my predictions

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June 2009

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April 2009

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