Robin PottratzReview: "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is long, loud, and oddly satisfying
August 8th 2009 22:54
It's currently the 9th highest grossing movie of all time ($388 million and counting) and also one of the most critically brutalized movies in history. As it relates to all of the criticisms of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,[I] i have two words: believe it. It is long, loud, obnoxious, confusing, and lacks a pulse. However, it does feed the need of every hyper adolescent child in all of us to see a movie that cares so little about plot and focuses on what could possibly make the movie enjoyable...non stop action.
Peter Travers of [I]Rolling Stone gave the worst lambasting of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen calling it the "worst movie of the decade," and chastising Director Michael Bay for as he says it...his objectification of women. I think that Peter Travers just has a hair up his ass toward Michael Bay...calling him a Hollywood directing hack is interesting seeing as that Travers (who is still my favorite film critic) enters into the hack territory of film criticism in his own right...but I digress, this post is not about Peter Travers' lack of objectivity...it is about the film itself.
Did I mention...there are actually humans in this movie. Shia LaBeouf is back as Sam Witwicky, who is going to college and leaving behind the two loves in his life, Mikelea (Megan Fox, who even though she is a cunt in all interviews...one cannot deny her hotness) and Bumblebee...the yellow camaro who saved his life and is his personal guardian. The most appalling thing in the film is easily every scene with Shia LaBeouf. I'm sorry people...he can't act. He just says his dialogue too quickly or too loudly and just lacks any real screen presence whatsoever. Fortunately, he is not the real focus of the film.
I couldn't help but laugh at the introduction of Fox in the movie. She is straddling a motorcycle in tiny shorts...with her ass to the camera in a cut off top fixing the cycle. Peter Travers used this as the example of Michael Bay's objectification of women. I view it as something different. In every magazine interview with Megan Fox...she acknowledges that she is a commodity, and seems to revel in that fact. She is very acid tongued and very full of herself...and that is why I can't view this as objectification, I think she is very aware of the scene's purpose...which is to showcase a hottie and it achieves that goal with flying colors.
BUT ENOUGH SERMONIZING!!!
We find out that Optimus Prime is working with the government along with the Autobots to rid earth of the Decepticons. When one of the Decepticons tells Optimus that "the fallen is coming," then we have a little plot to work with.
The Fallen (voiced with gravely terror by Tony Todd) it easily the most interesting character in the movie, and sadly the most underused...he looks like a combination of a Decepticon and Alien...also, Decepticon leader Megatron gets reawakened and reunites with The Fallen.
As for Sam, he finds a piece of the all spark cube from the first film and his brain gets filled with images about the history of the Primes and the purpose of The Fallen and how the earth can be destroyed in Egypt and blah blah blah...who cares.
There are holes in the plot that you can drive a truck through...which is typical for a Michael Bay flick...I bet you didn't know that behind the Smithsonian museum is a giant airfield...and at one point everyone ends up in Egypt...no explanation of how...they just end up there.
The movie actually is entertaining when the robots are allowed to take center stage. However, the last hour of the film's exhausting 2 and a half hour running time is entirely in Egypt and is such a mess at times that you can't tell who is fighting who.
That said, there are some moments to smile at. Most of the action scenes are fun and the scene where a hottie at Sam's school (Isabel Lucas) tries to seduce Sam and gives him the worst french kiss ever is hilariously hokey and fun.
For all of its huge flaws, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a satisfying action flick. That being said...I don't recommend this movie to the casual film goer. It is simply too exhausting and punishing to sit through. It is satisfying...but 4 Snickers bars are satisfying too, that doesn't mean that either are good for you.
However I can only give credit...and blame to Michael Bay. He is ambitious to trying and make this huge of a movie...but when it falls flat it can only be a reflection of his shortcomings as a director.
As far as action goes...you may not find a more unrelenting ride this summer.
Peter Travers of [I]Rolling Stone gave the worst lambasting of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen calling it the "worst movie of the decade," and chastising Director Michael Bay for as he says it...his objectification of women. I think that Peter Travers just has a hair up his ass toward Michael Bay...calling him a Hollywood directing hack is interesting seeing as that Travers (who is still my favorite film critic) enters into the hack territory of film criticism in his own right...but I digress, this post is not about Peter Travers' lack of objectivity...it is about the film itself.
Did I mention...there are actually humans in this movie. Shia LaBeouf is back as Sam Witwicky, who is going to college and leaving behind the two loves in his life, Mikelea (Megan Fox, who even though she is a cunt in all interviews...one cannot deny her hotness) and Bumblebee...the yellow camaro who saved his life and is his personal guardian. The most appalling thing in the film is easily every scene with Shia LaBeouf. I'm sorry people...he can't act. He just says his dialogue too quickly or too loudly and just lacks any real screen presence whatsoever. Fortunately, he is not the real focus of the film.
I couldn't help but laugh at the introduction of Fox in the movie. She is straddling a motorcycle in tiny shorts...with her ass to the camera in a cut off top fixing the cycle. Peter Travers used this as the example of Michael Bay's objectification of women. I view it as something different. In every magazine interview with Megan Fox...she acknowledges that she is a commodity, and seems to revel in that fact. She is very acid tongued and very full of herself...and that is why I can't view this as objectification, I think she is very aware of the scene's purpose...which is to showcase a hottie and it achieves that goal with flying colors.
BUT ENOUGH SERMONIZING!!!
We find out that Optimus Prime is working with the government along with the Autobots to rid earth of the Decepticons. When one of the Decepticons tells Optimus that "the fallen is coming," then we have a little plot to work with.
The Fallen (voiced with gravely terror by Tony Todd) it easily the most interesting character in the movie, and sadly the most underused...he looks like a combination of a Decepticon and Alien...also, Decepticon leader Megatron gets reawakened and reunites with The Fallen.
As for Sam, he finds a piece of the all spark cube from the first film and his brain gets filled with images about the history of the Primes and the purpose of The Fallen and how the earth can be destroyed in Egypt and blah blah blah...who cares.
There are holes in the plot that you can drive a truck through...which is typical for a Michael Bay flick...I bet you didn't know that behind the Smithsonian museum is a giant airfield...and at one point everyone ends up in Egypt...no explanation of how...they just end up there.
"Transformers 2
The movie actually is entertaining when the robots are allowed to take center stage. However, the last hour of the film's exhausting 2 and a half hour running time is entirely in Egypt and is such a mess at times that you can't tell who is fighting who.
That said, there are some moments to smile at. Most of the action scenes are fun and the scene where a hottie at Sam's school (Isabel Lucas) tries to seduce Sam and gives him the worst french kiss ever is hilariously hokey and fun.
For all of its huge flaws, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a satisfying action flick. That being said...I don't recommend this movie to the casual film goer. It is simply too exhausting and punishing to sit through. It is satisfying...but 4 Snickers bars are satisfying too, that doesn't mean that either are good for you.
However I can only give credit...and blame to Michael Bay. He is ambitious to trying and make this huge of a movie...but when it falls flat it can only be a reflection of his shortcomings as a director.
As far as action goes...you may not find a more unrelenting ride this summer.
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