Robin PottratzThe Best of Absurd Political Theatre: Greta Van Susteren interviews Bristol Palin, now with baby!!!
February 19th 2009 01:10
Last Monday Night, I was just flipping through the channels when I discovered something that I just had to stop and investigate further. It was the nightly Fox News Program On the Record with Greta Van Susteren. Normally I don't watch Greta...but on this night I made an exception...for you see, her guest tonight was Bristol Palin, daughter of Alaska Gov. and former VP candidate Sarah Palin, and formerly a real life version of the movie Juno (I mean the version of Juno where her parents aren't super Christians and the father doesn't become a political prisoner). Now, recently Bristol has given birth to little Tripp Johnston, the child that she had with her redneck baby daddy Levi Johnston.
As for the interview itself, lets just say it was one of the most bizarre pieces of "journalism" that has come down the line in quite some time.
After Van Susteren asks the first question...where she comments on how the birth of Bristol's child is a "good story"...Bristol replies in kind:
"Well, I'm just blessed to have a huge family who helps out. I think that's(pause) the main thing that I have."
Just as Bristol utters that valley girl esque response are we then greeted by a familiar face.
Greta: Speaking of the joy...here it is.
The camera then pans to show Sarah Palin AKA the Governor of Alaska AKA Bristol's Mother AKA Tripp's Grandmother AKA GO AWAY!!!...holding her little baby grandchild.
Palin in her most disturbing baby voice utters: "you want this joy"
Bristol's reaction in her head was probably "FUCK NO"...but in compliance with her mother she accepts the little bundle of joy.
A perplexed Van Susteren then says, "Is this the grandmother?...oh I'm sorry we were expecting the other Grandmother."
To which Governor Shit for Brains responds quickly "Oh, she's out in the hall"
Bristol uncomfortably takes her child and we are informed that Bristol decided to schedule the interview on her own...Which Gov. Mooseburger will have none of as she barrels her attention seeking self onto.
"Oh I just came up to say hi...we were all just down by the river"...is her excuse...let the twilight zone in Wasilla begin
Gov. Palin then talks about how proud she is that Bristol has decided to become an advocate for teen pregnancy and how little baby Tripp is "very lucky to have Bristol as a mama...he's gonna be just fine." I would talk to Ann Coulter before making that statement Gov Palin.
Gov Palin then decides to keep talking (wait, isn't this supposed to be an interview with Bristol?) she keeps talking about how both Bristol and Levi are going to be fully functional members of society and that Bristol is the ultimate case of "It can happen to anybody."
"Bristol was a great athlete, great student, great aspirations for herself...plans that didn't include a baby of course, but it did happen to her and now again, less than ideal situation but we make the most of it."
You know, I would love to hear Bristol's thoughts on this whole thing...what? Gov Palin? you're gonna just keep talking...ok then.
"It would be a different story if we all didn't pitch in...there would be some sad and dire circumstances I think if the family doesn't just circle the wagons and help out one another at a time like this. This is what family is for also, to pitch in and I'm proud of Bristol too for all the help that she has accepted from her Grandma and her Great Grandma and her Great Great Grandma"...(good god, how many generations of Palins are there?!!)
Continuing on...
"and aunts and cousins and we are thankful to be in the situation we are with so much help. I don't know how other families do it if they assume that the young parent is going to make it on their own or assume that government will take care of the young parent and that child...that's not government's role, that's a role for families to pitch in and help."
Greta then asked about the role of promoting abstinence...a very valid question seeing as how Gov. Palin would not support abortion even in the cases of rape and incest.
Bristol...your thoughts please?... No Gov Palin, I was not talking to...NO I wasn't...NO...oh what's the use?...go on Gov. Palin.
"You get beyond that...that ideal of...'yeah abstinence, hey don't get pregnant'...well get beyond that and when it happens you deal with it...I mean life happens, life happens and you deal with it and Bristol's dealing with it wonderfully."
Here is some food for thought:
1.Bristol Got To Speak Her Mind: This was supposed to be an interview with Bristol Palin...in the five minutes of the interview segment with Bristol that was shown on Monday, Bristol spoke for a grand total of...8 seconds. You read that right...8 seconds. The rest of the time was consumed by her mother. It is good to know that we were granted the opportunity to really get inside Bristol's head.
2. Bristol, that thing in your hands is a baby...not a purse: Once Gov Shit for Brains burst onto the interview stage, she handed the baby to her daughter. Who greeted her newborn with some mild affection, then proceeded to put on her best panic face, and basically ignore the child for the next 5 minutes. It was very uncomfortable, because the baby was little more than a prop for the Palins to promote what a great, salt of the earth family they are. It was more than a little disgusting.
3. I still want would totally nail Bristol Palin: After all that the interview contained...I still have a crush on Bristol Palin? Why? It may be that I know she puts out...It may be that she is still a slammin hottie. I don't know, but it is a fact I will have to deal with.
Bristol...if you read this...call me
4. Why can't Sarah Palin just go away?: Don't get me wrong, her folksy/bitchy demeanor and persona are fascinating to say the least...but someone needs to tell her...YOU LOST...WHEN YOU LOSE YOU GO AWAY!!! Unfortunately...or maybe fortunately...Sarah Palin is here to stay...God help us all.
Now I must admit, Bristol was allowed to speak before her harpie of a mother decided to burst on the scene. She spoke about abstinence:
"I think abstinence is like...like...uh I don't know how to put it...like the main...uh everyone should be abstinent but its not like realistic at all"
Greta: Why?
"Because...I don't wanna get into detail about it...because its more and more accepted now."
Bristol Palin has now contradicted the beliefs of her zealot mother and that just makes me wanna do her even more.
I just think that the Palins need to go away...they are not wanted or needed by any sane person or country. There is still a large number of people who relate to the Palins...I am glad to say I am not one.
Lastly, I have decided to provide you...my loyal readers...with a couple of treats...the clips of the two interview segments in question...enjoy
Bristol on Abstinence: Really Long Link
Bristol gets interrupted by her mother: Really Long Link
These clips are both hilarious and informative...have a ball!!!
As for the interview itself, lets just say it was one of the most bizarre pieces of "journalism" that has come down the line in quite some time.
After Van Susteren asks the first question...where she comments on how the birth of Bristol's child is a "good story"...Bristol replies in kind:
"Well, I'm just blessed to have a huge family who helps out. I think that's(pause) the main thing that I have."
Just as Bristol utters that valley girl esque response are we then greeted by a familiar face.
Greta: Speaking of the joy...here it is.
The camera then pans to show Sarah Palin AKA the Governor of Alaska AKA Bristol's Mother AKA Tripp's Grandmother AKA GO AWAY!!!...holding her little baby grandchild.
Palin in her most disturbing baby voice utters: "you want this joy"
Bristol's reaction in her head was probably "FUCK NO"...but in compliance with her mother she accepts the little bundle of joy.
A perplexed Van Susteren then says, "Is this the grandmother?...oh I'm sorry we were expecting the other Grandmother."
To which Governor Shit for Brains responds quickly "Oh, she's out in the hall"
Bristol uncomfortably takes her child and we are informed that Bristol decided to schedule the interview on her own...Which Gov. Mooseburger will have none of as she barrels her attention seeking self onto.
"Oh I just came up to say hi...we were all just down by the river"...is her excuse...let the twilight zone in Wasilla begin
Gov. Palin then talks about how proud she is that Bristol has decided to become an advocate for teen pregnancy and how little baby Tripp is "very lucky to have Bristol as a mama...he's gonna be just fine." I would talk to Ann Coulter before making that statement Gov Palin.
Gov Palin then decides to keep talking (wait, isn't this supposed to be an interview with Bristol?) she keeps talking about how both Bristol and Levi are going to be fully functional members of society and that Bristol is the ultimate case of "It can happen to anybody."
"Bristol was a great athlete, great student, great aspirations for herself...plans that didn't include a baby of course, but it did happen to her and now again, less than ideal situation but we make the most of it."
You know, I would love to hear Bristol's thoughts on this whole thing...what? Gov Palin? you're gonna just keep talking...ok then.
"It would be a different story if we all didn't pitch in...there would be some sad and dire circumstances I think if the family doesn't just circle the wagons and help out one another at a time like this. This is what family is for also, to pitch in and I'm proud of Bristol too for all the help that she has accepted from her Grandma and her Great Grandma and her Great Great Grandma"...(good god, how many generations of Palins are there?!!)
Continuing on...
"and aunts and cousins and we are thankful to be in the situation we are with so much help. I don't know how other families do it if they assume that the young parent is going to make it on their own or assume that government will take care of the young parent and that child...that's not government's role, that's a role for families to pitch in and help."
Greta then asked about the role of promoting abstinence...a very valid question seeing as how Gov. Palin would not support abortion even in the cases of rape and incest.
Bristol...your thoughts please?... No Gov Palin, I was not talking to...NO I wasn't...NO...oh what's the use?...go on Gov. Palin.
"You get beyond that...that ideal of...'yeah abstinence, hey don't get pregnant'...well get beyond that and when it happens you deal with it...I mean life happens, life happens and you deal with it and Bristol's dealing with it wonderfully."
Here is some food for thought:
1.Bristol Got To Speak Her Mind: This was supposed to be an interview with Bristol Palin...in the five minutes of the interview segment with Bristol that was shown on Monday, Bristol spoke for a grand total of...8 seconds. You read that right...8 seconds. The rest of the time was consumed by her mother. It is good to know that we were granted the opportunity to really get inside Bristol's head.
2. Bristol, that thing in your hands is a baby...not a purse: Once Gov Shit for Brains burst onto the interview stage, she handed the baby to her daughter. Who greeted her newborn with some mild affection, then proceeded to put on her best panic face, and basically ignore the child for the next 5 minutes. It was very uncomfortable, because the baby was little more than a prop for the Palins to promote what a great, salt of the earth family they are. It was more than a little disgusting.
3. I still want would totally nail Bristol Palin: After all that the interview contained...I still have a crush on Bristol Palin? Why? It may be that I know she puts out...It may be that she is still a slammin hottie. I don't know, but it is a fact I will have to deal with.
Bristol...if you read this...call me
4. Why can't Sarah Palin just go away?: Don't get me wrong, her folksy/bitchy demeanor and persona are fascinating to say the least...but someone needs to tell her...YOU LOST...WHEN YOU LOSE YOU GO AWAY!!! Unfortunately...or maybe fortunately...Sarah Palin is here to stay...God help us all.
Now I must admit, Bristol was allowed to speak before her harpie of a mother decided to burst on the scene. She spoke about abstinence:
"I think abstinence is like...like...uh I don't know how to put it...like the main...uh everyone should be abstinent but its not like realistic at all"
Greta: Why?
"Because...I don't wanna get into detail about it...because its more and more accepted now."
Bristol Palin has now contradicted the beliefs of her zealot mother and that just makes me wanna do her even more.
I just think that the Palins need to go away...they are not wanted or needed by any sane person or country. There is still a large number of people who relate to the Palins...I am glad to say I am not one.
Lastly, I have decided to provide you...my loyal readers...with a couple of treats...the clips of the two interview segments in question...enjoy
Bristol on Abstinence: Really Long Link
Bristol gets interrupted by her mother: Really Long Link
These clips are both hilarious and informative...have a ball!!!
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